The Journey to Soul-Shaking Love: From Inner Child to Intimacy

The relationship skills you wish someone had taught you as a child? You can still learn them now. 🕊️

I recently sat down with Andrew Phipps on The Intimacy Inquiry for a wide-ranging conversation that reminds me exactly why I do this work. We traced the full arc of the human experience—from how we first learned to love and attach, all the way to creating lasting intimacy in our adult partnerships.

Here is what lit me up about this discussion:

✨ 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐫𝐞: Those early attachment patterns shaped by emotionally unavailable parents aren’t permanent. Neuroplasticity means you can build entirely new ways of connecting.
💪𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡-𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫: How to honor both your drive and your softness by balancing masculine and feminine energy. Real connection happens when you move off the apps and into your heart.
🔥𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫: Most couple conflicts aren’t actually about the dishes; they are just needs trying to be heard. When you name the need, the “protest” stops and everything shifts.
🌙𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲: Creating a relationship where you can talk about desire, pleasure, and what you actually want—without shame.
🤝 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞: Simple daily practices, like rituals of reunion and “I” language, that keep you connected through all the seasons of partnership.

Whether you are calling in new love or deepening what you have, this episode is a roadmap for building the emotional intelligence and skills for the intimacy you actually want.

With love,
Valerie