Alison Armstrong has been studying men since 1991: “To find out how I was bringing out the worst in them. And hopefully, how to bring out the best.” She discovered that by our nature, men and women have conflicting survival defenses that cause us to misunderstand each other and push each other away. When we understand these survival instincts and learn how to work with them instead of against them, men and women can live in harmony and in feel love for each other.
In our interview, Alison explains how women feel safe when we’re receiving attention and interest from a man; whereas men feel safe from being productive. The way women go about getting attention and interest from men usually makes him feel insecure about what he’s trying to accomplish, and he feels disrespected. She explains how to harmonize this dynamic so we get our needs met rather than feeling frustrated or uncared-for.
Alison Explains:
-How do we disrespect men without realizing it? What do we do instead to inspire him to meet our needs?
-What is the “Worth-it calculation?” and how can we inspire him to prioritize what we need?
-How do we ask for what we need in a way that inspires him to provide it?
-How do we get his time and attention in a way that doesn’t make him feel interrogated or disrespected?
-How do we inspire him to open up?
-how can we tell a man what we need in order to give him our full attention?
-What to do instead of criticizing a man when you want him to change?
-How can you tell a man that your feelings are hurt without him getting defensive or going straight to fixing the problem?
She has numerous seminars, books, online programs and media contributions, and I’ve read and listened to/watched countless hours of them myself. You can learn more about Alison’s work at her website: https://www.alisonarmstrong.com/
More about Alison Armstrong:
Alison Armstrong’s exploration of human behavior began in 1991, with her decision to study men: “To find out how I was bringing out the worst in them. And hopefully, how to bring out the best.” Her success in understanding men naturally led to studying women’s behavior and making vital connections between the two.
As her work evolved over decades, Alison now illuminates human characteristics that precede modern civilization. She distinguishes normal human instincts that compel both men and women to behave in ways that bring out the worst in each other and prevent us from getting our needs met. She helps men understand women and women understand men: how to bring out the best in each other instead so we don’t undermine our own purposes, goals, values, needs and relationships.
She has a unique perspective that cuts through to the heart of what’s really going on so we can know how to inspire each other instead of go into self-protection mode.
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