There are 2 things I could have done to prevent an argument:
1) I could have acknowledged his point of view in addition to sharing mine. I could have said, “You’re right, I didn’t tell you it was important. That sucks because it was important.” Then because he would have felt acknowledged, he would have apologized and we could have moved on to what I needed to feel better.
2) I could have shared my feelings instead of making him wrong. If I had said, “I feel angry because I wanted support,” then he also wouldn’t have gotten defensive because I would have been just sharing my feelings and desires, not talking about what he did wrong.
I recently recorded an interview for women with a colleague, Helena Hart, about how to share your feelings in a way that draws your man closer. I explain in this video that it’s how we share our feelings that can put men on the defensive. When we share our feelings in the right way it draws him closer.
You can watch it here: