When I first contacted Valerie, my husband seemed annoyed or angry with me often. I’d get defensive, and we wound up fighting or feeling distant most of the time. I felt undesired, unappreciated, and judged.
Through the emotional healing tools, I’ve learned how to recognize my needs and give myself compassion that I had been demanding from him. When I can do that, I am able to come from a place of compassion for him and his needs. Then we get to work as a team to find win-win solutions to conflicts instead of being in competition with each other. Such a better quality of life when I can do that. It takes practice, but I can already feel so many benefits. When he’s feeling honored in that way he has so much more to give me and I’m learning to receive it. I’m also learning to ask for what I want, and give ideas for how I would like it, instead of complaining and focusing on what is wrong. He responds so much better, and we both feel good when I communicate with him this way.
I used to think I had to bend and mold myself into whatever shape fit his puzzle. I had no clue what shape I was to begin with. Now, as I follow my desire and my pleasure more, I have learned who I am, my shape.
Our relationship is now feeling better and better. He’s more affectionate, takes me out on dates, and we enjoy playful intimacy again. I feel more connected, adored, and supported.
Recently he took me on a wonderful date to a delicious restaurant and he flirted and we enjoyed playful intimacy that was connected and fun! And he made breakfast for me and yesterday watched our daughter while I went to movies with a girlfriend; and he made a wonderful dinner I enjoyed when I came home. I feel right now like a dream that I didn’t even know I had came true of it being like it was in the beginning, like I don’t even need a special Valentine’s day because I feel connected and loved and cherished every day.