A guest blog by Alex Cormont, The French Relationship Expert:
Do you feel like you’re having trouble understanding men? You’ve come to the right place if you want answers to your questions! Find out everything you need to know right here.
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Understanding men: EVERYTHING you need to know when you like someone:
In my line of work, you can imagine how often I work with people who are struggling with understanding how a man’s mind works. Things will seem so magical at first, and then suddenly he’s distant and everything feels off. So I wanted to write this article for you on understanding men and how to create a meaningful relationship.
I know how hard it is because it seems like you keep having to deal with the same patterns. It’s disheartening, but I have a solution.
It’s simpler than you might think, and if you can apply the tips I’m about to share with you in your everyday life from here on out, you will experience an incredible shift in your love life. You will have no problem making men fall for you and want to stick around. So, shall we get started, ladies?
Understanding men today
I’ll start things off by saying that if you really want to understand man, you have to remember that men are like you. They want a special relationship, something that’s unlike all the rest, they want lots of positivity, lots of attraction… They want to be with a person that inspires them.
This means that if you want to be truly happy in love, you’re going to need to be 100% yourself. You’re probably reading this thinking, “Alex, I know that.” But then why do you stop being yourself when you’re developing feelings for a man? How come you inadvertently fixate on what he wants and how to make him want you, instead of what you want?
This happens because the moment we realize that there are stakes, we get nervous. When we get nervous, it becomes easier to be insecure and second guess oneself. To counter this, you have got to make sure that your self-confidence is unshakable. You’ve got to make sure that you trust yourself and are confident in what you bring to the table. I know we are talking about how a man’s mind works, but YOUR confidence is the foundation for successfully attracting a man!
So many people I work with come to me for help because they’re having trouble figuring out how to understand a man’s lack of self-confidence, and this makes it harder for them to attract the guy they want. So we always work on making their life into something that brings them a profound sense of joy and satisfaction. Remember, confidence comes from a sense of accomplishment. I encourage them to start doing activities that get them out of their comfort zone and help them to feel more confident. One of my favorite things is salsa classes!
If you can start to work on becoming the absolute best version of yourself, you’re going to attract men like moths to a flame.
When it comes to understanding men in relationships, we need to keep in mind that they want to feel the challenge. They’re hunters, and they want to feel like they need to work for something. They want you to be the prize, and the moment you start viewing yourself as the prize, things get exciting!
How to understand men: Changing patterns
As we were growing up, we were taught that we need to give more love in order to receive more love, but unfortunately, that’s not really how it works. Men enjoy the chase, and while I will not recommend playing games, I do want to warn you against making it easy for him to take you for granted.
If you’re doing backflips for this guy and handing everything to him on a silver platter, you’re only making it easy for him to take you for granted. I’m talking about sex, your time, your energy… Why? Because then he doesn’t have to pursue you. What’s more, why would he commit to a relationship if he can have all the elements of a relationship without having to commit?
I know that some of you are thinking, “I will never understand men,” but we aren’t that complicated. We want the chase, we want to pursue something that is different from everything else, and again, we are like you!
We want to feel those butterflies, we want to have common interests and excitement… But the thing that excites us the most is the feeling of fun. My advice to you is this: instead of talking about labels like “relationship” and “boyfriend,” focus on making sure that each moment he spends with you is unique and fun. We want him to associate you will positive emotions, and this is what will set you apart. Don’t get bogged down with conversations about relationships too early on. Just think about how you can make every date unique and how you can challenge him.
Be playful! If he asks you out on a date to go to dinner, tell him you’re free but you have something else in mind. Invite him to go do something neither of you has tried before, like go-karting. Show him that you’re fun and that the time he spends with you is always great. This will make him start to crave spending more and more time with you.
Understanding a man: Male psychology
So many women tell me that they have trouble understanding men. They’ll be dating, he’ll be super attached, and then out of the blue, he drops off the face of the earth. He says he doesn’t have the same feelings anymore, or that he doesn’t want to commit when he was the one who was doing all the pursuing in the beginning!
Here’s the thing: when a man meets you, he’ll always put you on a pedestal and he’ll try everything he can to attract you. The problem is that as humans, we don’t value what we feel like we already possess. So when he realizes that he’s got your undivided attention or like he can take you for granted, we have a problem. This is why I keep stressing the importance of being a challenge!
Now, if he’s pulling away, do not make the first move to contact him. Don’t text, don’t call, don’t try to get him to reply to your last message. Put some space between you. You want HIM to make the first move! You can respond, but don’t make the first move.
Remember that as human beings, we work with habits. This means that the more that he gets used to pursuing you, the more he will continue to do it.
And one more thing that can help. Don’t ask him what he feels for you. This causes so many problems, especially early on in the relationship. Asking about his feelings or his intentions too early on can place pressure on him that makes him pull away. Remember, this is what I was talking about above when it comes to understanding a man. They will respond much better to experiences than labels.
You’ve got this, ladies. Remind yourself of what you bring to the table, be that exciting challenge that this man craves, and let him come to you. You deserve so much happiness, and that’s exactly what you’re going to get.
I wish you all the very best, ladies.
Ciao ciao les amies,
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