Happy Holidays!
We’ve heard that “It’s better to give than receive,” and people talk about the joy of giving…but have you ever thought about the fact that the giver feels much more joy in giving if the receiver feels the joy of receiving?
So many of us feel guilty receiving what we feel we don’t deserve. And this is so often a hidden, unconscious belief that may not seem like it fits for you, but keep reading.
So take a moment to imagine someone giving you a lavish gift: Like a free vacation, or maybe an expensive piece of jewelry or a new laptop, or whatever would feel lavish to you? Do you feel absolute joy in receiving it? Or do you feel suspicious or maybe guilty about receiving it? Some of us feel we don’t deserve lavish gifts, or don’t expect we can get what we want easily. Or we feel like if we receive it, we owe something back to them. “What do they want from us?” right? Or maybe if you’re offered something like support, you might need to prove that you can do it yourself instead!
Do you have some blocks to fully receiving? If so, let’s uncover together what is your block to receiving.
When we don’t receive, we block the flow of energy. Imagine if the ocean wouldn’t receive the river flowing into it. The river would swell up and flood the entire area! We block the natural joy of the giver if we don’t fully receive.
I worked with a woman, Kristen, who was turning down support from her husband because she was scared that if he did too many things from her, she’d owe him, and then she’d feel guilty, or scared that he’d demand things from her. Have you ever felt this way?
The thing was, she felt overworked and stressed out, and it was taking a toll on their relationship because then she was too tired to have quality connection with him!
So I taught her these steps to get better at receiving:
- Discover your blocks to receiving: do you feel like you don’t deserve it? Do you feel you would owe something back? Identify it and write it down. (Trust me, this step alone helps get a load off your chest)
- Imagine or ask the person who’s giving: what joy do you feel in giving? Often we don’t realize that the giver feels rejected if we don’t fully receive. When Kristen’s husband offered to give her support, he felt so much joy in feeling her receive it! (YES! He really did.) He felt like more of a man. He felt strong, capable, and really pumped up from feeling her joyfully receive his help, and then a weight was lifted off both of their shoulders.
- When someone offers you a gift, pause, let go of everything else you’re doing, and notice your breathing. When we fully receive something, we relax, breathe, and fully take it in. The joy of the giver is amplified when they notice that we’re really taking in what they have to give! (Btw, this works for sex too 😉
- Say out loud the pleasant feelings you’re feeling and what you appreciate. This can feel vulnerable! Receiving deeply is really opening yourself up and letting the gift inside. That’s what makes it feel special, to both the giver and the receiver.
When Kristen paused and took a moment to fully receive and appreciate when her husband offered to help her around the house, or gave her gifts, they both felt a magnetic energy flowing between them, and it reignited the passion in their relationship! They didn’t realize that their sex life had gotten flat, and this reinvigorated their sexual chemistry now that she wasn’t as stressed and he felt more received and appreciated.
So what are you noticing are your blocks to receiving? And what would you like to receive from your loved ones this holiday season?
I’ll be doing a FACEBOOK LIVE VIDEO on Thursday, 12/22 at 7pm EST from my Facebook page where I’ll answer your questions about how to joyfully receive, and also–and you won’t want to miss this one–about how to ask for what you really want to receive.
So leave your questions in the comments below; I can’t wait to connect with you and help you receive more joy, during this season and always.
With Love
Valerie