Happy New Year!!!! 🎉 I hope 2021 brings you romantic fulfillment in surprising ways! This blog is about how to attract that…like I did on New Year’s. 🙂
I talk alot in my blogs and videos about the difference between needs and strategies: when we let go of our attachment to things happening our way (our strategy), we can be creative about other ways that our needs can get met. We can receive love in the way our partner wants to give it, as long as we feel fulfilled.
In other words, when we let go of expectations, we can receive our desires in serendipitous ways!
For example, I need to feel courted by my husband in order to feel turned-on romantically, and our strategy used to be going out on romantic adventures together. This year, since most things are closed, we’ve been going “in” on many romantic adventures in virtual reality.
Here’s a picture of us on Christmas Eve:
So on New Year’s Eve, we were at a party in VR and he wanted to pop out and get a snack shortly before midnight. It took him a while to get back in and although I felt slightly disappointed that we didn’t share a kiss and toast at midnight, it was ok because I figured he’d kiss me as soon as he got back in. He knows it’s important to me that we celebrate special moments together.
Except he didn’t…he just said “Happy New Year” to everyone. My inner-child felt rejected, but I reminded “her” that he’ll want to celebrate a special romantic moment with me in whatever way he chooses.
If I would have told him I felt disappointed, he would feel made-wrong and controlled, and it would ruin the fun we were sharing. If I told him I wanted him to kiss me, it wouldn’t have felt romantic because I asked for the kiss.
So instead, I let go of my expectations and trusted that he’d show me romance in his way because I trusted that he knows what I want and he cares about me. Then I could relax and allow what I want to show up in an unexpected way.
Later that night we all went to a world called…“Look, It’s Waffles,” made up of 2,430 waffles! There were tunnels, buildings, sculptures, a hot tub, cars, and floating islands…all made out of…you guessed it…waffles!
My husband said to me, “Let’s fly up to the top of the highest one (a waffle spaceship that was at the highest point) and when we got up there, he gave me a passionate kiss and said, “Happy New Year! I love you so much!”
It felt more romantic than if he had kissed me at midnight with everyone around, because we were on top of the world together! (the world of waffles…but he made it feel romantic. 😉 )
So I invite you to ask yourself, how can you let go of expectations and communicate what you need in a flexible way? [i.e. what you want to experience, rather than telling them what to do]
Then, how can you be patient and allow yourself to receive what you want in surprising ways?
Of course, you might be asking, what if he knows what I want but he’s not giving it to me, even in his own way? In that case, there might be a deeper issue going on and that’s what I love helping people solve so you can experience the love life that you want!
If you are ready to hire a relationship coach to finally experience the love, intimacy, and passion you desire in 2021, I invite you to apply for a free 90-minute Relationship Breakthrough Session here.
Wishing you romantic fulfillment beyond your wildest dreams in 2021!
With Love,
Valerie
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