Happy Holidays, whatever you celebrate!
If your relationship is plagued by the green-eyed monster (and I don’t mean the Grinch 😉 then the video that Helena Hart and I just released can help you to feel more secure and less jealous.
Jealousy is defined by experts as angry, agitated worry. It’s when you feel that the love you share with your partner is threatened by another source. It’s a mix of emotions: worry that your partner is with someone else, anger at the other person, and agitation that you have to DO something to prevent it from happening!
When we are taken over by feelings of jealousy, many people react in ways that sabotage the relationship: accusing, interrogating, punishing, looking for signs of betrayal, constantly seeking reassurance, pouting, and acting out. All of these behaviors can destroy the connection you feel.
Reframe: Jealousy = a desire plus doubt that you can have it. The desire is the love, connection, devotion, and loyalty of your partner. Let’s focus on the behaviors that inspire that. If you can learn to soothe your feelings, challenge the beliefs and stories, and communicate the desire in a collaborative way, then you can attract what you want rather than pushing it away. I know that’s easier said than done, especially if the jealousy is justified or if it comes from a betrayal in the past. Helena and I give some specific how-to’s and examples in the interview.
You can watch the interview here:
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