Want to know how to have more happy moments with your partner, or with yourself? Here’s a principle that’s been coming up a lot with my clients lately:
What you focus on, you get more of.
And do you know why that is? Consider your eyes are magnifying glasses. What you look at gets bigger and more pronounced. As Quantum Physics is finding that you attract what you put your attention on.
Let’s say you have your eye on a blue Audie and all of a sudden you see blue Audie’s on every street corner. You didn’t notice them before, but now you see them everywhere! It’s because it’s on your mind.
Similarly, have you ever expected your partner (or yourself) to do that behavior that you didn’t want them to do and, low and behold, they mess up again! And have you ever considered that part of the reason they show up that way is that you’re expecting it?
Because if you have your attention on what your partner’s doing wrong, guess what? That’s what you’ll see. And you’ll miss the things they’re doing right!
It’s not that they’re not doing positive things, you just tune them out, because you’re just not focused on seeing them.
But there’s good news. Because just as you can hold the magnifying glass to the darkness, you can also shift and hold that magnifying glass on the light. And which do you feel will be more productive?
So consider what relation-shift you’ll experience if you shine magnifying glass of your attention on their (or your) good qualities, because what you appreciate appreciates!
There have been many times where I’ve told clients to focus on the positive qualities of their partner, and they might not even have done anything different. They just replaced the negative thoughts about them with positive thoughts. And magical things would happen. Like, their partner showed up happy to see them, or did more nice things for them. So with that in mind, you might consider now, how would your relationship shift if you chose to focus on appreciating their positive qualities more?
1) What are 3 qualities that you want your partner to display more? Or what are 3 qualities that you want to encourage in yourself?
2) How could you put your attention on noticing and drawing out these qualities?
Let me know how it goes by leaving a comment below.
Some people misinterpret this concept and see it as manipulation. It’s NOT about changing your partner. It’s about drawing out the goodness that’s already there.
This is just one of many principles that will help transform your relationship with yourself and others. If you want more support in attracting or re-igniting love, I invite you to talk to me about how I can help you experience a Relation-shift. You can learn more about that here.