Blog | Page 2 | Relationship Coach Valerie Greene

4 Ways To Initiate With A Man While Staying In Your Feminine Energy

Many women think that femininity equals passivity. Some people say that women should wait for men to “chase” them.

I’m passionate about teaching women how to be empowered in their feminine energy. You can initiate with a man and still be feminine and inspire him to pursue you. There is an art to how to be magnetically feminine and initiate with a masculine man in an inspiring way.

Helena Hart recently interviewed me and I shared 4 powerful ways to initiate with a masculine man while blissfully enjoying being in your feminine energy.

You can watch the video here:

With love,
Valerie

How To Not Give Your Heart Away Before A Man Has Earned It (And What To Do If You Already Have)

Do you tend to give your heart away too quickly?

Many women develop strong feelings quickly that come with expectations about how he needs to show up for them, and then get angry when he doesn’t meet those expectations.

Or because we have such strong feelings, we think we need to show him how great we are so we do things for him. We take on the masculine role and call him, ask him out, cook for him, and he stops pursuing cause we’re the pursuer and then we don’t know where we stand with him and we feel insecure.

Not giving our heart away too quickly until a man has earned it is not about playing games; it’s about understanding that men only value what they invest in. It’s about turning your expectations into standards and deciding you won’t give your heart to someone who hasn’t shown you he can value it. Then you don’t have to put expectations on a particular man until he says he wants to be the one that you depend on.

How do you do this? Helena Hart recently interviewed me on this topic.

You’ll learn how to:

Have your feelings match his level of investment
Discover whether he’s investing in you or if he just wants to pursue you for sex
What to do if you keep obsessing over a particular man
Turn your expectations into standards and know how to tell if he’s worth giving your heart to

You can watch the video here:

With Love,
Valerie

Living A Value Driven Life & What That Means To Your Love Life

Do you know what your core values are? Are you worried that if you stick to what you believe in most, you’ll drive away people?

Or maybe you think you need to find someone who matches your values to be happy.

I’m here to tell you that the more you live true to your deepest values, the more you’ll attract quality men (and others) who really get you. If you’re single, you’ll radiate confidence and maturity. If you’re with someone right now, you’ll inspire your partner that you’re the one, a keeper (if he’s right for you). You’ll be the prize of prizes.

I’m sure you’ve heard it’s important to make a list of the qualities you want in a man, and we have information on that. It’s important to know yourself and what you want in your man.

What I find most important is sharing your most essential values, having a compatible life vision, and feeling gotten, cherished, loved, and empowered to be who you most want to be in life.

He doesn’t need to match your values, but he should respect and honor them.

What Are Values?

Values are what make life meaningful to you. They guide your decisions and actions. They’re your internal compass. Examples of values are honesty, creativity, freedom, security, family, love, and service to others.

These are concepts of ideals. Many people confuse values with actions. For example, telling the truth is an action and honesty is a value. They are very similar. But, if a person values honesty, they will tell the truth. But if they value something else, such comfort over honesty, they might not tell the uncomfortable truths. That’s why it’s important to discover someone else’s values before you commit to them.

Values rarely change.

The more you embody your most significant values, the more you connect to your inner radiance. The more you identify your values, the easier it will be recognized when you meet a partner with compatible values. You will realize who will honor who you are and treat you with kindness. This is more important than shared interests.

Let’s do an exercise to discover your top values for you as an individual and the top values you want to share with your life partner.

To discover your values, you can ask yourself the following questions at the end of this blog. You don’t have to write the answers to these questions, just contemplate them. You also don’t have to worry about picking the “right” word.

What’s important is writing out what your values mean to you and how you know you’re experiencing or expressing it!

You want to create a romantic future for yourself more delicious, nourishing, and mind/body/soul-fulfilling than you’ve ever had. Living your values is the way to do that.

For this, you need to dream greater than you ever have before and dig deeper into yourself than you may want to. You need to be excited and inspired by the vision of love that you want to create, so you can motivate your man to create it with you.

Living your values and understanding what they mean to you helps you make choices that inspire your life. Then, you can make the right connection with the right man.

Men aren’t always sure what they want romantically until they meet a woman who inspires him on a soul-level with her vision for the love she wants to create. When you live your values, you don’t need to do anything to inspire him, just live your life to the fullest.

To discover your values, you can ask yourself the following questions while looking at this handout .

You don’t have to write the answers to these questions; just contemplate them when doing the assignment below.

What is the most important thing about you as a person? Who do you want to be to feel satisfied with your life even when you are in challenging situations?

Think about a time when life was perfect. What value was expressed or honored?

Think about a time when you were upset. What value was challenged?

When you think about what gets you out of bed in the morning, which words move you the most?

What is your legacy? What would you want your family and friends to say about you when they toast your 80th birthday? What would they say about how they appreciate you, what you have meant to them, how you have inspired them, and why they love and respect you so much?

I know the list is long and can seem overwhelming, but start by circling all the words that feel right and then narrow it down to 5 or 10. Then ask yourself: If you’re single, where are you likely to meet men who share your values? If you’re married, how can you live more true to your values and inspire your partner to be true to theirs?

And, of course, it can help to have support. I’ve guided countless people through this process and helped them to live true to themselves and attract/re-ignite a passionate love life! If you are considering hiring a coach to help you live the love life of your dreams, then I encourage you to apply for a free Breakthrough To Lasting Love Session here.

With love,
Valerie

Heal Anxious Attachment and Feel Secure in Love

This blog post was written by my friend and colleague Ilong Yukov. She and I met in NLP training and she is a genius at helping people ease anxiety and feel confident in their own skin. She and I have a similar approach to healing anxious attachment so I’m sure you’re going to benefit from her teachings:

Do you have an anxious attachment style when you are in a relationship?

Do you stay up at night pre-occupying yourself by overanalyzing your relationship with your significant other or a person you recently met? Wondering what he/she is thinking and feeling about you to the point that you drive yourself crazy?

This attachment style can be triggered when the person you are seeing is unavailable when you want him/her to be. A good example of this comes from a clip from the movie “La Dolce Vita” which you could check out here.

In this example of wanting to be with a man who is unavailable at the time you want him to be, I imagine that person is feeling clingy because she needs to feel important, prioritized, and loveable. Think for a moment, if you were that person, how would you want to feel instead? I know I would want to feel confident, in my power and react from that space of empowerment.

Although it might be exaggerated in the movie clip, if you feel you share similar qualities, you are NOT alone. Many women experience anxious attachment, which can lead to looping thoughts, obsessive thoughts and even insomnia. It can push people away and leave you feeling abandoned and/or rejected. This, of course, doesn’t just occur for women. Men deal with this too, but they are often more avoidant.

One technique that I developed that I discuss in my book, The 30-Day High Vibe Challenge: How to Stay Grounded, Centered, and in High Vibration, is called Transcend Resistant Emotions or the TRE method. Here are the steps:

1. Feel in your body – Notice the uncomfortable feeling you want to release. Using the example above, it might be loneliness. I feel lonely.

2. Welcome the energy – Welcome the feeling and notice the qualities. What does the energy feel like? For example: I am feeling tension and constriction in my chest and the energy feels stagnant.

3. Give it permission – Then give this feeling permission to let go. Sometimes, just being with the feeling can be enough for it to release. For example, say inwardly to yourself “It’s ok, I am giving you permission to release this feeling of loneliness.”

4. Resource it – Ask yourself, what resourced state do I need to fully let go of this feeling? In our example, the resourced state for loneliness is generally needing to feel loved and connected. Imagine what feeling loved and connected feels like in your body and bring in that energy from the top of your head down to the bottom of your feet, lingering in the area(s) that gave you discomfort. You can also add other forms of self-soothing/nurturing practices like taking a warm bath, giving yourself a hug, or asking for one from a friend, etc.

In general, it’s important to have tools that address self-regulation, co-regulation (if possible) and quick ways of releasing negative and/or self-sabotaging thoughts that don’t serve you. Self-soothing practices are so important for staying grounded and in your power. I have many years of experience combining different methods to address these issues successfully by using: Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), Focusing (a type of Parts Work), hypnosis and transformational life coaching.

I hold video coaching sessions and am presently offering a special price for the first 10 people who sign up from Valerie’s community: $110 for individual sessions or if you purchase a package of 6 for $550 – that’s a savings of $110 or a free session! You can check out my website: Holistic Wellness NY here.

Warm regards – Ilona

5 Powerful Secrets To Make Him Fall In Love All Over Again (Reignite The Passion And Intimacy!)

I’ve been hearing from my clients, both married and single, that the quarantine is exacerbating whatever relationship challenges they have. Many couples feel disconnected or bored; singles feel isolated from friends and family. My heart goes out to you if you’re feeling these things. (Or if you’re experiencing loss right now.)

While I’m not minimizing the situation, I want to inspire you too. My partner and I feel even closer than we did before the quarantine; we feel even more excited to spend the rest of our lives together because of how good of a team we are and how much fun we’ve been having.

How do we do it? There are several mindsets and practices I teach for how to keep things exciting and deepen intimacy no matter what challenges you’re facing.

Helena Hart recently interviewed me (before COVID hit the US) and I share 5 tips to deepen connection and reignite the passion and intimacy. Many of these skills will be useful even if you’re single, both to use with friends and family now and to prepare you for your future love life.

You can watch the video here:

With Love,
Valerie